New Sea...

So my on again/off again bff since 4th grade got married last weekend and the thought of her now officially being a Mrs. is still throwing me for a loop.  First let me explain the on again/off again bff relationship status that we have.  We single handedly made each other's lives hell growing up then somehow managed to put them back together only to destroy them again the next week.  We fought over: guys, family, guys, church, guys, friends, guys, clothes, guys, school, guys, guys, guys!!! Even through it all I think if we were both completely honest with each other we needed one another to make it through the "rough years" of being a teenager.  So that being said within the past two weeks I have picked up my entire life in Searcy, AR and relocated to Jonesboro, AR.  That happened on a Wednesday afternoon and on into Thursday.  That Thursday evening began the wedding festivities with the soon to be "Mrs. Meeks'" classy lingerie/bachelorette party.  The next morning began quite early (7:30 am) as we decorated for the lovely wedding at Central Baptist here in Jonesboro. We finished the decorating, bridal luncheon, and rehearsal/rehearsal dinner somewhat early (9:30 pm) Friday evening and called it a day!  Saturday morning came WAY too quickly (9:30 am) as we arrived at Central to start preparing for the 2 o'clock wedding.  Needless to say through the stresses and emotions of the day everything fell into place and the wedding was gorgeous.  Lauren looked amazing as she walked down the isle next to her dad and there definitely wasn't a dry eye amongst her bridesmaids! It was a wonderful day that we'd be dreaming about for years and I was super excited to get to share it with my on again/off again bff!!

So all this leads me up to change and a new sea the title of my blog:  Basically Lauren's mother sat me down the night before the wedding and told me her opinion of why I got into ASU grad school.  In her opinion I couldn't find a fish in my sea so God brought me to another sea so I could find a fish.  Well thats fine if that happens, but thats not really what I'm here for.  However, the thought of being in a new sea has made me think quite a bit.  Whenever you begin something new, regardless of if its a new day, new job, new school, or whatever else you are being cast out into a new sea.  You get the option of being whomever you want to be.  You can go back to being the same ole person you were before and maybe you were a great person before, or you can make the change you always wanted to make, but were never quite able to make stuck back in your old sea.  Maybe you were so surrounded by old habits, friends, lifestyles that you just couldn't change, and God moved you to a new sea to make the change you needed to make so you could BECOME THE NEW FISH.  So here I sit about to start grad school in 2 days at a state school and I'm nervous.  I'm super nervous because my God isn't shared and discussed as much on this campus as He was back on Harding campus, but God brought me here because He thought I needed to be cast out into a new sea so I can be transformed into the NEW FISH He wants me to be.

Not ready...

I am 3 days from leaving Searcy and I am NOT READY!!! I have honestly been in the worst mood for the past two weeks because I don't even want to think about leaving this town! I know Wynne will always be "home" like the town where I was born and raised, but Searcy has become my home!!! After I made the decision several months ago to stay here for another year and work at Chili's I became very happy with that decision.  I was totally at peace and now my world has been flipped upside down.  Don't get me wrong I am so happy that God blessed me with being able to get into Grad school, but I don't want to leave my town!!! I am a person that typically likes change, but this is a BIG change and I am scared.  I don't know my way around Jonesboro that well, I don't know my way around ASU at all, I don't know people there...grrr!!! I honestly feel like the little 19 year old sitting in my bedroom floor packing for college for the first time.  I remember crying my eyes out telling my daddy that I didn't want to leave.  That I wasn't old enough to leave my mommy and daddy.  He looked at me with those eyes only Daddy's have and said yes you are and we're only going to be an hour or so away.  He was right.  The first night was horrible.  I was terribly sick when they drove away, but after the first couple days passed I survived and loved it! Now here I am again not wanting to go, but I know I'll survive.  It's just taking that first step to jump... then you can fly...That's what I have to keep telling myself.  This is my chance to fly!!