Reflecting on what might have been...

So since it is Christmas break, I find myself slightly bored.  Yes believe it or not I've been out of school for a week and I'm already starting to get the itch to go back! As bad as it sucks while you're there, ya sure do miss it when its gone.
Basically I've been trying to figure out something to do with my free 5 week Christmas break.  Tonight I worked out and watched my new obsession "How I Met Your Mother", but I had the desire to create something.  I went to my very messy closet and dug out all of my art supplies.  This lead to me seeing the Italy HUF 1 and 2 scrapbook that I started, but haven't finished.  Discovering my HUF memories lead to me to a gallon zip-lock bag that contained all of my tickets, cards, etc from HUF 1.  When I see a card that I actually kept, I have this HUGE desire to read it...so for the past thirty minutes I have been sitting in my floor reading.  Well the cards were filled with encouraging and strengthening words as well as dozens of people saying they were praying for me, but they all left me wondering: What might have been?
Typically I am not a person that wonders about "What If" because who cares what if lets just focus on what is, but tonight I have let my mind wonder.  "What If" I hadn't had the car wreck back in 2007? "What If"I wouldn't have had all the complications with my leg? "What If"I would've gone to Harding freshman year instead of CRC?  "What If"I had gone to take a nap instead of going down the mountain one more time? "What If" my ski instructor would've spoken english? "What If" I would've stayed standing up instead of sitting down? "What If" I wouldn't have had to leave Italy after only being there a month?
Well with all of these questions there has to be some answer...
Here is my opinion: If I hadn't had the car wreck in 2007, then I would've continued to idolize guys and not have turned to God like I did.  If I hadn't had all the complications with my leg, then I probably would've had a speedy recovery and again never had the relationship with God that I do.  If I hadn't gone to CRC, then I wouldn't have the amazing friends I do today.  Granted we don't talk very much, but I know they'd be there if I ever need them (Yes, Ro, I'm mainly talking about you!!) All that part seems to have positives that came from it.  The only "What If" that I'm left still pondering on is: Italy!!! Well I've concluded something: if I hadn't broken my leg and gone home, then I wouldn't have spent the summer in Italy with one of the best Christian young ladies I've ever known, I wouldn't have gotten even closer to the "potluck" roommate that I had Sophomore year, and I wouldn't have the awesome memories that I have now.  Granted HUF 1 was awesome too, but HUF 2 is where God wanted me to be. So I guess I don't have anymore "What If" questions to ask, but instead a lot of thank you prayers to say because although there was another road that I could've taken, God put me on the road I'm on for a purpose! Jeremiah 29:11
Oh yeah and after taking out all the scrapbook stuff, I'm putting it all back up. Gotta figure out something else to do.

Roller coaster they call life....

So I'm currently riding the roller coaster called life.  One day I wake up extremely happy, ready to greet the day, and overjoyed with become a speech therapist, but the next day I wake up hating everything especially school! I know grad school isn't easy or they wouldn't give you a master's degree for doing it, but still! I want to enjoy it more.  I've decided, after a presentation from one of my professors, that I dislike school so much I have literally kept my brain from obtaining information.  My brain is so burnt out on everything that it will not allow me to store any more information.  So how do I get past this slump in life?  I've decided I HAVE NO IDEA! I've been working on increasing my prayer life and studying the word.  I think I've put so much focus into school that I've lost some sight of God.  Also, I haven't really been the faithful exerciser that I should be.  Surprisingly working out really can change your life way more than just your physical appearance.  I need to get my ever increasing tail into a gym or out on a road! 

So besides school what have I been doing?  Well as we speak I have 3 precious babies sleeping in my living room.  No they aren't actual babies and NO THEY AREN'T MINE! These angels belong to Sara and Jason Elms.  I'm only calling them angels tonight because it is their first night with me.  By Sunday afternoon they will demons I'm sure! Tonight we all went to eat at Habachi Grill and let me tell you I think I made 15 trips to the buffet and they weren't for me! I never realized how annoying a buffet can be when you have 3 kids that require adult supervision at all times! Mark that down on another reason why I HATE buffets! So besides having the kiddos life is just life.  It has its ups and downs.  Although I'm currently in a down, I know that I'm only here because I was UP and it's only a matter of time before I'm UP again! I need to find my chipper energetic self again.  I know she is hiding up the rock called Grad school.  Everyone pray that I learn to move this rock so she can come back around! That's all for now.  Sorry there isn't much fun stuff to talk about!

Reading...

So tonight when I got home from my softball games/Tyler's house I decided I needed to reflect upon my Summer in Italy!!! I miss Europe dearly and I need to re-live that experience as often as possible.

Needless to say I ran across an entry from 7-25-2009 that caught my eye.  For those of you who don't know much about my trip at this time I was free traveling Europe by myself.  On this particular entry I found myself in Interlaken Switzerland on a park bench looking up at the Swiss Alps some of which were still snow capped others covered in Summer flowers.  The part of the entry that caught my eye was:

"Here I sit again on my bench looking at the same mountain I gazed upon this morning, but I've changed.  There's been a change in me.  An experience not many 21 year old American girls can say they've had.  I took a chance, I jumped, I conquered, but I couldn't have done this alone...Dave was holding me, guiding me the entire time.  In life I've got to learn to jump, but never alone...God is always there to hold me and guide me making sure I have a safe landing."

The above analogy is referring to my tandem jumper "Dave" after I had jumped out of an airplane at 15,000 feet.  This all stands true today:  Each day I must decide to jump and take chances.  I cannot live in a bubble, but I must shoot for my dreams.  If I get hurt or disappointed its ok because God is always there to catch me.  I'm really glad I ran across this entry and I can't wait to read more of my journal entries and compare them to my current life.

My Task?

*So I was asked to do the ladies Bible class this weekend at my church's annual fall retreat at Camp Tahkodah.  The theme for the weekend was My Task?  Here's my lesson, I hope you guys enjoy it! I know it is quite lengthy, but its a pretty good point.

As you all know our theme for this weekend is my task? While preparing for this lesson I kept asking myself this question.  The main answer I kept coming up with was: To be a good grad student/student clinician.  Although this answer is correct I think there is a better answer to this question and the answer I came up with involved a tree.

-Like everything in God’s creation there are no 2 trees that are the same.

-Some are straight and tall while some are short and snarled.

-No matter the different no tree is better than the other

-They may have different purposes, but they’re all useful for the environment.

-Trees have their God given purpose in nature, and all are useful and valuable.

-The same can be said about us as Christians.

-No matter how different we are, we’re all useful and valuable in our own way.

-We all are called to serve our own God given purpose and usefulness in the Lord’s work.

-It takes a lot of different kinds of trees to make a good, healthy forest and likewise it takes a lot of different kinds of believers with different talents to make up a good healthy church.

-Now lets consider the different parts of a tree

-1. First we want to look at the roots.

-Roots serve at least two functions in the life and growth of a tree.

-Roots give a tree the support it needs to stand upright while absorbing water and nutrients from the soil that a tree uses for food.

-Likewise roots can represent God and the soil represents the Bible.

-We must be rooted in God to live the right way and we must read His word to absorb the nutrients we need to be a good Christian.

-2.  Next we want to discuss the trunk of the tree.

-The trunk holds up all the branches of the tree high above the ground to make them useful to the world.

-The trunk represents Jesus and the Holy Spirit.  They hold us Christians up to make us useful to the world.

-3. A tree trunk is made up of rings representing the age of the tree as well as hard years for it.  If a tree is damaged by drought or fire the ring will forever show the scar and in a sense it changes the tree.

-The rings represent our life in Christ.

-We grow spiritually bigger each year, but sometimes bad things happen that damage us and rattle our lives.

-For me personally, my damaged rings would be represented by breaking my leg twice, not getting into the grad school I wanted, letting other people’s opinion of God ruin my own, or dating the wrong guys.

-Although these situations may damage us for quite some time, we will slowly repair close to what we were before, but always changed a little.

-But the question remains: What heals the tree?

-Well a damaged tree is repaired by the sap.

-This sap represents grace.

-Each time I was damaged I doubted and questioned God.  I found myself behaving rebelliously, but thankfully through grace God forgave the damaged and healed me.

-4. We must also discuss the bark of the tree.

-Surprisingly there are two layers of bark.

-The outside bark is thick and protects the tree from the weather.

-This would be our saving faith that keeps us sane during the bad times.

-It could also be seen as hope or confidence.

-Next is the thinner inner bark that takes all the good stuff (nutrients) to the top of the tree.

-This is our living faith or works.

-It is how we show our faith to others.

-5. Then we must think about the branches of a tree.

-They support the leaves and fruit of the tree.

-This represents the various branches of our lives: school, work, friends, etc.

-No matter which branch we might be on at a certain moment we must have God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit in us to be a good Christian.

-6. Finally we must think about the fruit/seeds.

-Some trees bear fruit, which contain seeds to make more trees.

-As Christians we need to produce seeds by teaching others about God so once they fall off the tree and are planted they too can become a tree.

-Luke 6: 43-44:

⁴³ “No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. ⁴⁴ Each tree is recognized by its own fruit.

-So what does all of this have to do with my task?

-Well who know the story of Zacchaeus?

-What can you tell me about him?

-Luke 19:1-10:

¹ Jesus entered Jericho and was passing through. ² A man was there by the name of Zacchaeus; he was a chief tax collector and was wealthy. ³ He wanted to see who Jesus was, but because he was short he could not see over the crowd. ⁴ So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree to see him, since Jesus was coming that way.

⁵ When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, “Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today.” ⁶ So he came down at once and welcomed him gladly.

⁷ All the people saw this and began to mutter, “He has gone to be the guest of a sinner.”

⁸ But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, “Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.”

⁹ Jesus said to him, “Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. ¹⁰ For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.”

-Many times we focus on how Zacchaeus was a wee little man that climbed a tree to see Jesus.

-Well have you ever wondered why he had to climb the tree?

-Yes, he was supposedly small, but also because the believers were so crowded around Jesus that he couldn’t see.

-The people were so focused on seeing/hearing for themselves that they were in a sense keeping others from Jesus.

-The tree enabled Zacchaeus to see Jesus, which in turn changed his life completely.

-So now the question remains are you so focused in the betterment of yourself that you keep others from seeing Jesus or are you the tree?

-When examining My Task? I now know I am called to Be The Tree!

Do It Yourself!

Well keeping with tradition I have homework due tomorrow that I've known about for 3 weeks and I'm just getting started.  To make this entire situation worse I don't have school on MWF, and yet I'm still just beginning at 11 pm! So whats the reason behind the procrastination this time? Well my dear friends I have been introduced to Pinterst...If you don't know what I'm talking about check out my Pinterest account here! I promise you won't be disappointed in this new addiction.  This hobby lead me to blog stalking and I've basically fallen in love with so many DO IT YOURSELF blogs! Check out some of my favorites...
 Here!
And Here!
Oh and here!
Yeah it's quite the addiction that has lead to me bringing out my artsy side... resulting in the following creations...

This is my flower made from US Today Magazine.  Although right now it is a flower, I'm thinking about making it into a clock.  If you're wondering what I'm going to do with this...I HAVE NO IDEA! I just really enjoyed making it!  Next...

I've been seeing these a lot in the stores, and I was determined to make one.  Now I'm not 100% sure that I'm finished with this, but so far I have a tree. I'm tossing a few ideas around about what to add to it.  I'm also working on two more projects, but you'll have to wait to see them.  Now let me express this: I've never had an art class (which many of you can probably tell), but I feel very relaxed when I'm painting or creating something artsy.  It is like better than sleep to me.  Anyways I encourage anyone with 30 minutes of free time to join Pinterest and to blog stalk DIY blogs! I promise you won't be disappointed and your creativity genes will start flowing.  Ok I seriously have to do homework, but give me some feedback about my DIY projects! Enjoy!

Thief in the Night...

We read throughout the bible that Jesus is going to come back like a thief in the night.  Well tonight I was reading 1 Thessalonians 5:1-3 and they say:  "¹ Now, brothers and sisters, about times and dates we do not need to write to you, ² for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. ³ While people are saying, “Peace and safety,” destruction will come on them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape".  These verses terrify me a little.  I know that part of faith, grace, and being saved is about trusting God and not doubting.  I'm just so worried that God is going to come and I won't be ready.  Spiritually I feel like I am ready, but its the worldly pleasures that have me wanting God to wait.  I want to get married and have kids someday, I want to finish grad school and actually start the career I've been working on for forever, I want to see my little sister get married, etc, BUT then I remind myself that these are pleasures of the world and that I am called to be in the world, but not part of the world.  The song that we sing in church that says, "Lord come quickly" also brings about these same thoughts.  I want to go to heaven, but I want to accomplish so much on earth first.  I want to die peacefully in my sleep at the ripe old age of 120.  Its very selfish and wrong of me to have these thoughts, but I can't seem to stop them.  I guess the main thing on my mind tonight is that I will learn to sincerely mean the words Lord come quickly and I will realize in my heart that when God does decide to return that I've accomplished everything He intended for me to accomplish in life.  I want to have inner peace with living for today and not planning tomorrow.  Just some stuff to think about...hopefully ya'll's faith is more mature than mine and you aren't so consumed with worldly pleasures, but if you are like me to a certain extent then just know you aren't alone.  I decided to share my thought of the day, but feel free to share advice!

Our lingo...

What is dating?  I have asked myself this question several times over the past couple weeks.  What is dating? What is talking?  What is being in a relationship?  What is the difference?  So today before curiosity could kill the cat, I decided to investigate these labels.  I decided to go to the only reliable source out there for defining modern terms...urbandictionary.com.  Here are the results:

Friends with benefits: two friends who have a sexual relationship without being emotionally involved.  Typically two good friends who casually make out (I tweaked this one a bit) without a monogomous relationship or any kind of commitment.

Talking: when two people are not exclusive with each other nor have established what they are as a couple, but have some sort of relationship or when two people like each other and are getting to know each other better, but are still single and not "going out" yet.  Even better: Stage in which you are still single but interested in another person and vice versa.  This ends when the dating stage begins...

Dating: Of a couple, to be in the early stages of a relationship where they go out on dates to find out what each other is like, as a prelude to actually being a fully fledged couple.  Next: To see someone, be with them, to be "together", the action of doing any sort of various activities to gain acquaintance with someone romantically.

Relationship Dating:  Dating for a relationship as opposed to dating for casual fun or hook-up.  Relationship dating as in dating for long-term relationship.

Relationship:  the ability to put up with someone else's bull of the opposite sex for a long period of time.  Next:  a bond between two people

Courting: Dating is for fun, but courting is for marriage.  Courting means no sexual activity.  

So basically that isn't any more clear than is was when this blog started.  I officially know the definitions of these words, but there is a lot of grey between each one.  Oh well just something on my mind and I thought maybe the older generation might want to know what we're talking about when we throw out all these terms.

Are we there yet...

So how often do you remember being a child and going on road trips?  I don't technically remember going on pointless road trips, but I remember the (what felt like at the time) FOREVER long trips to Grandma and Jido's which was actually only a 4.5 hour drive to White House, TN (about 30 minutes outside of Nashville).  I also remember from these trips asking constantly, "Are we there yet?".  More specifically I remember a game my wonderful Daddy used to play with us kids...He would pretend like he forgot how to get to his parent's house and he'd say phrases like, "Man I'm tired of this road, I think I want to go on a new one and he'd turn".  Being a young child I was always scared that he didn't know where he was, but somehow we always managed to end up at the Makool "White House".

So here's my point with this blog... how often are you asking God are we there yet? More specifically am I there yet?  I know indirectly its a question I ask daily! "God is it time yet? Have I been patient long enough yet?" I feel like at times he is looking at me and saying..."Um...come on dummy you STILL aren't being patient!!!"  Anyways I guess this is on my mind because I'm ready for this semester to be over on Wednesday and I keep asking am I there yet... and even though I'm SUPER close...it's not quite time.  Also sometimes God might take us down a side road/different path and we might feel completely lost, but He still knows exactly where we'll end up.  (Just making it more applicable to my previous story).  Ok it's time for class.  3 more days and I'm 1/5 of the way done!!!! Wooohoooo!!!

Sometimes I wonder what I'm going to do...

It never fails whenever I have a massive amount of homework due...I would rather do anything besides complete it.  It also seems like during these times my brain likes to transform into some unknown substance and stay that way for prolong periods of time.  All of this makes me giggle and yet my work sits incomplete.

I am currently working on 3 more RAWS.  I just called my dearest Daddy to inform him that I will more than likely be earning a C in this dreaded class because I do not understand how to complete a RAW accurately.  His response (being a male), "Awe a C in graduate school isn't so bad".  I burst into tears, "Daddy I don't want a C...I want all A's!!!!"  Needless to say he told me to pray then proceeded to try and help me with this horrid assignment.  After ten minutes of throwing around all the words associated with RAW's including: evidence, research, limitations, peer-reviewed, effect sizes, statistically significant findings, strong effect sizes, quality of the study, cognitive rehabilitation, language domain, etc. He replied...baby just keep reading the questions slowly until you understand them...sorry I just don't know how else to help you.  At first this made me start crying all over again, but after our phone call ended I calmed down and realized how grateful I really am.  My daddy is probably at work right now out in this horrid heat, and yet he took time out of his busy schedule to try and help me understand my homework.  He also tried to reassure me that I can do this work even if it is really hard.  Not only this, but he built up my faith by reminding me to turn everything over to my Creator.

Sometimes I wonder what I'm going to do:

-Because school is hard...

-Because I don't know about tomorrow...

-Because I don't think I can pass...

-Because I feel so ignorant...

-Because I'm so small in this BIG world...

-Because Satan is a sneaky thing...

-Because temptation is great...

-Because life isn't always easy...

Then I call on my Father, regardless of it is good ole Timmy Boy who has lead my family in the right way and raised me in a Christian home, or if it is the King of Kings who is always here watching over me each step of the way.  Whenever I call on my earthly father I am reminded that my Heavenly Father is guiding me and I no longer have to wonder what I'm going to do because IT ISN'T UP TO ME! :-)  I'm so thankful for my wonderful life!  Thanks Daddy for picking me up without even realizing I had fallen!

Transformation of Sins...

Over the past 4 months I have seen a drastic change in my lifestyle.  From January-April I was in a state of rebellion against everything which lead to a very sinful way of life.  I remember going to bed every night knowing if I died in my sleep I wouldn't go to heaven.  I also remember every time I sinned I was consciously aware that it was wrong.  I was so enticed by worldly things: drinking, cussing, clubbing, and the like.  Thankfully in April something clicked that I could not live this way any longer.  I contribute most of it to Baby Khloe.  I knew that if my brother had any idea any of this was going on he would cut me off from my precious niece and I couldn't stand that thought! Needless to say in April I decided to make a conscious effort to eliminate all of these worldly things from my life.  I think God knew in order for me to do this completely I needed to be uprooted and start over completely because on April 26th I received the phone call from ASU.

Well 4 months later... there has been a transformation in my sins.  I haven't been clubbing or drank since April and I very rarely cuss, but I worry, fear, stress, get angry, and the like.  Most people would say, "Congratulations Jenn! You are really becoming a better Christian!", but am I?  Personally I feel like it is an excellent thing that I stopped the other sins, but these new sins are JUST AS BAD!  If sins were rated big or little, they may even be "bigger sins" because its a sign that I am doubting God.  In Matthew 6:25-27; 34 it says: "There I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear.  Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not much more valuable than they?  Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" 34: "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own."  These verses remind me not to worry.  Then Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, 'declares the Lord,' plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." gives me strength to not fear or stress!

I just have to remember to fully rely on God (FROG!!!)  I guess my point is that sometimes we dismiss worry, fear, stress, and anger as "small sins", but if we do not strive daily to improve upon these faults and turn them over to God, we are just as guilty as someone who is drinking, clubbing, and cussing! We have to recognize that we can't put our sins into categories in order to sweep them under a rug!

We are all sinners and we all fall short!  Thankfully Jesus gave himself up for us so that we can have eternal life with Him in Heaven!

Please proceed with caution...

Over the past year or so I have been stealing quotes off of other people's facebook pages, blogs, bible lessons, etc.  I have kept these quotes in a nice and neat file on my computer only to be revealed...NOW!  I have titled this blog please proceed with caution because you are entering into some of my deeper thoughts.  These mean something to me and you may not like them.  It is perfectly ok if you do not agree, please feel free to state your opinion! 

-"Christian Character is who you are when no Christian is watching"

-"A thorough knowledge of the Bible is worth more than a college education"

-"Dance like no one is watching, Sing like no one is listening, Love like you've never been hurt before, and Live like Heaven begins tomorrow"

-Unknown

-"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about such things."        

      -Philippians 4:8

-"All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen"

      -Ralph Waldo Emerson

-"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail"

       -Ralph Waldo Emerson

-"Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy."

       -Unknown

-"I'm selfish, impatient, and insecure.  I make mistakes.  I am out of control and at times, hard to handle.  But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best."

     -Marilyn Monroe

-"Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything.  Keep trying and believe in yourself!"

     -Marilyn Monroe

-"And sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

    -Marilyn Monroe

-"Watch your thoughts, they become words.  Watch your words, they become actions.  Watch your actions, they become habits.  Watch your habits, they become your character.  Watch your character, it becomes your destiny."

      -Unknown

-"When I say..."I am a Christian" I'm not shouting "I'm clean living" I'm whispering, "I was lost, now I'm found and I'm forgiven".  When I say..."I'm a Christian" I don't speak of this with pride.  I'm confessing that I stumble and need CHRIST to be my guide.  When I say..."I'm a Christian" I'm not trying to be strong.  I'm professing that I'm weak and need HIS strength to carry on.  When I say..."I'm a Christian" I'm not bragging of success.  I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.  When I say..."I'm a Christian" I'm not claiming to be perfect.  My flaws are too visible, but God believes I am worth it.  When I say..."I'm a Christian" I still feel the sting of pain.  I have my share of heartaches so I call upon his name.  When I say..."I am a Christian" I'm not holier than though, I'm just a simple sinner who received God's good grace, somehow."

    -Unknown

-"There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart...pursue those!"

     -Unknown

-"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring!"

    -Marilyn Monroe

-"The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space."

    -Marilyn Monroe

-"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"

   -Jeremiah 29:11

-We always wonder: "Why me God, instead think well why not me?"

-"Cussing is the vocabulary of the powerless"

-"A man reaps what he sows"

Well there they are! I left some of the more thought provoking quotes out just because: A. They are direct quotes from people I am friends with. B. They are too personal. C. This post is getting way too long.  I hope you guys enjoy these quotes.  I've enjoyed avoiding my homework in order to blog!

Wedding Season...

Well its Summer and I'm 22 which means I am surrounded by weddings.  My facebook newsfeed is bombarded daily with: engagements, weddings, wedding pictures, engagement pictures, and everything in between.  I personally am not upset about this fact because I am female and I simply LOVE weddings, but it does make a person think.  When I was in High School I wanted to get married ASAP and I kept this mentality for quite sometime, but within the past year it has subsided. Do not be mistaken, I'm sure when the right guy comes knocking on my door...I'll be ready, but as for now I'm focused on school.

  This still doesn't keep my mind from wondering about that special day.  Once again as a female I believe most of us daydream about OUR special day from the time we're probably 3 or 4 and start playing dress up.  I don't have a clue what colors, dress, venue, or any other detail I would like, but I have decided upon one decision that goes against recent trends.  

  I'm not sure how many of you have attended weddings like I have within the past 5 years, but recently people have eliminated the fearful line, "If anyone objects speak now or forever hold your peace".  I have noted this especially recently because there have been a few times I have wanted to jump over the pews and yell, "ME!!!! I OBJECT!!! DON'T DO IT!!!", but there never was a moment taken for me to say my true feelings.  I have concluded that I do not want this line taken out of my marriage ceremony.  You may be sitting there asking yourself: Why in the world would you want someone to interrupt your special day?  Well here is my exact reason why...If someone feels so strongly as to stand up in front of 200 people and object to me getting married to Joe Blow Billy Bob Bumpkin then I want to know about it before I make a life time commitment.  Now I strongly believe Joe Blow Billy Bob Bumpkin will be a man of God, who will be the love of my life, and if he has made it through the interrogation of my Daddy there isn't a bone in my body that thinks anybody would have any reason to object.  Therefore I am not afraid to ask this question and part of me feels like the people that take it out of their ceremony slightly doubt their decision.

  Anyways I guess I just say all of this because its been on my mind especially today.  Young people don't realize what a HUGE commitment marriage is and they go through divorces just like junior high break ups.  I refuse to get a divorce and I'm determined to marry a man that believes the same way even if that means I may never get married.  I'm so comforted by the ability to pray even when the outcome isn't what I wanted.  I ran across this quote today: "God long ago drew a circle in the sand exactly around the spot where you are standing right now. You were never not coming here. This was never not going to happen" It really gave me comfort and strength to make it through today.  God knew I wasn't going to be happy with the decisions certain individuals made today, He knew that no matter what I tried to do to keep them from happening that they were going to happen, but He also knows the outcomes of the decisions made.  I am happy knowing that my God knows what the future holds.  He knows everything and He is in control.  I do not have to know about tomorrow, I just have to know MY GOD!!!

Avoiding RAW...

So tomorrow my first two RAW are due...when I read this assignment all I think about is raw meat, raw vegetables, and everything else that is raw.  I absolutely do NOT think about a research analysis worksheet followed by a critique over the worksheet.  I'm sorry, but can we not come up with a better acronym for "assignment that is going to make you want to jump off a cliff" than RAW?  Maybe I'm just in a negative nancy mood, maybe I have writers block, or maybe I just would rather be anywhere 

but here, but I DON'T WANT TO DO MY HOMEWORK!!! lol.  Mother or ladies who feel as though they are my mother, do not fear, my homework will get done  properly and be turned in on time, but for right now I am blogging instead (obviously).

So what is something else interesting going on in my life...hm... I am making good grades still. Oh wait that is still about school.  Ooo.. My neighbor across the breeze-way well his apartment was broken into two nights ago while he was out of town. This all lead to me crying my eyes out all night long last night terrified some crazy person would try to get me.  I mean seriously if you're going to try to come into my house I have a strong feeling adrenaline would take over and I'd beat you, but when you're laying in bed  late at night every noise sounds like a bad guy trying to get in and  IT'S FLIPPIN' SCARY! I'm not really sure how to resolve this problem... last night I called Mommy then proceeded to pray until I drifted off into the world of sleep.  Hopefully my fears will subside soon.

What else is new? I'm going to Eureka Springs this weekend to see my cousin Tyler Lewis get married! 

I really like Eureka and I could definitely use a massage. I'm hoping to twist my Mommy's arm enough that maybe she'll let me get one.  Oh my birthday is in like a week and a half.  I don't feel any excitement about it this year.  I'm not sure if it is because I'm in school or because believe it or not ladies and gentlemen, but

 I'M AN OLD WOMAN!

 I do believe I'm going to just stop counting birthdays and say I'm still 16... 

I enjoyed being 16 except for the whole teenage girl drama, but life was so carefree.  Anyways I'm whining a lot today but I do need to say that life is really awesome! 

I'm super happy about being in grad school and I love it even if I have to work hard! I also feel blessed every day to have a God that loves and takes care of me! I really must start doing homework now before I go to church!

The vacation I needed...

So my precious parents scheduled a lovely vacation for the family this past weekend to Panama City Beach, Florida.  Please note that this vacation was scheduled 2 months or so ago, but nobody could've known (except God) how much I would need it!  We left Thursday after I got out of school and returned on Sunday.  It was a quick trip, but it was PERFECT!  Most of Friday and Saturday were spent laying out.  Friday night we took a leisurely walk to the nearby (or so we thought) pier.  Little did we know it was 2 miles away.  When we finally got there we realized you had to pay to actually walk out on it (AWESOME), we ended up doing a little window shopping and getting ice cream. Afterwards Preston (Michelle's precious boyfriend) and I ran back along the beach to the condo.  I tried to do a little bit of exercising while I was there because I've seriously been a bum since I moved to Jonesboro.  I wasn't quite able to run the entire way back...I'd like to blame it on being barefoot, on the sand, and the salty air played a part in my inability to breathe properly (or maybe I'm just out of shape) haha! Anyways Saturday night we went to a local seafood restaurant and I had delicious crab legs! Here are a few pictures from our marvelous trip!

Laying out trying to not look so pale!

Playing Dress Up in a store called L.O.L.

Fighting with Chasity! I love my B.I.L!

Favorite sister picture ever! Love it!!!

We ordered the exact same thing without even knowing it!
Oh and yes we're burnt...Sunscreen=fail!!

Beginning our long walk to the Pier

Michelle trying to be like Khloe and give me a knuckle sandwich! Haha!

**Just a few photos to summarize what a great time we had on our weekend VK to Panama City Beach! It was the perfect rest for my brain before I try to tackle this week full of several papers!

3 am...

Well it is 3 am and I'm wide awake...why? I HAVE NO IDEA!!! I slept for maybe 30 minutes to an hour, but not anymore.  I can't get comfortable, the temperature isn't right, and closing my eyes isn't an option.  I have several things on my mind so I figured if I blogged then maybe I would be able to rest.  I'm just a few days away from completing my first month of grad school.  Insane how quickly time has passed.  I have my first final on Friday for Instrumentation.  So far I have a 4.0 in all my classes, but it hasn't come easily.  I quit my job at Chili's last week because they simply wanted me to work too late into the night and my workload was too heavy.  I've learned to take school work one day at a time.  I really cannot think about what homework is due next week or what test I may have or I'll become overwhelmed with stress. My classmates are really sweet ladies.  I don't really know them all that well yet, but we're only a month into a LONG 18 month process. My instructors are different, but knowledgable about their field of study. As sad as this may sound I have had to become lax about certain things.  I guess it is part of growing up and being in the world but not a part of the world.  There are days where I miss Harding and my CSD family like crazy and if I think about it too much I'll cry for a little bit reflecting on the memories, but then I remember that everybody has to move on at some point in their life and that MY GOD has a PURPOSE for my life. I know He wants me here for a reason and each week that passes I feel as though I see that reason a little more clearly.  January-April were hard spiritual times for me and ever since I moved here I have been a lot stronger of a Christian.  I am attending Valley View church of Christ and it is simply wonderful.  I am starting to form relationships with some of the people my age and I thoroughly enjoy it.  I feel as though every lesson has been written directly for me.  My Bible is constantly being written in with excellent points made by the different guest speakers and I can see my relationship with God growing deeper daily.  I concluded the other day that it may be possible God moved me here to bring me back to Him.  After analyzing that, I've decided if I don't pass my praxis or comps next fall, but I'm a young lady who can be seen as a pillar for God...I'll see this time spent as a success because in the end degrees, jobs, and money do not matter at all, but only my relationships with God and people.  So this may not make any sense considering it is super late and I am finally getting sleepy, but it is what I think about often.  I also am constantly singing a song that my precious Mommy has dedicated to me by SideWalk Prophets "The Words I Would Say"... The part that is always stuck in my head is..."Be strong in the Lord and never give up hope you're gonna do great things I already know, God's got His hand on you so don't live life in fear".  That isn't the entire chorus, but it is the part that plays on repeat in my head...God sure did bless me with incredible parents.  I'm so blessed that they passed on the love of Christ to me! Ok I'm going to sleep...again I'm sorry for the scatter-brained (probably not a real word) entry.

Avoiding Homework...

I'm so supposed to be writing a lab report right now, but instead here I am. School has started and it is difficult.  I enjoy the challenge of it for the most part, but all the assignments I am receiving that involve me writing papers in APA style I dislike to the 10000 degree! I am totally fine writing (hence the blog), but when I have to make sure everything is just perfect and have a bibliography page it honestly makes me want to forget how to write all together.  Besides writing the lab report, I am brainstorming about the topic for my thesis.  I feel as though something along the lines of synaptic pruning is right up my alley.  I have been reading about it here lately until the early hours of the morning.  Yes you read that correctly I am choosing to read about how the brain virtually deletes what it determines is un-useful information instead of sleep.  I thoroughly enjoy reading, taking notes, and coming up with solutions to this topic...however am I ready to write tons and tons and tons of information in APA STYLE about it?  I have no idea, but I have to figure it out by next Tuesday.  As one might have guessed Jonesboro is starting to get a little more comfortable each week.  I am learning the back roads, short cuts, and where things are.  I did get lost on campus the other day...dreadful!!! I had to go to a continuing education conference in the Student Union.  Well I only know where the Reynolds is.  I have been in the Student Union one time to get my student id, but I parked in the parking garage and went in from somewhere inside it.  Needless to say I had to ask for directions and by the time I finally found the conference on the third floor the speaker was being introduced.  Anyways life is moving along at a steady pace and everything is going good.  I'm still amazed every day that I am in graduate school and that God has this awesome plan for my life.  He is such a great God.

On your mark, get set, GO!!!!

June 1st has come and gone which means I am officially a Grad student at Arkansas State University.  This title also means I am loaded down with work.  Please note that I was slightly worried that AState would be a breeze coming from my private university. Ha! What an ignorant thought! I have completed my 3rd day of graduate school and I sit here in my apartment where I've been for the past 6 hours working on homework.  I am still working on reading 2 chapters in a textbook "The Voice and Voice Therapy".  Yes I know I sound like a slow reader, but I desire more than to just read the text.  I want to comprehend it and be able to sound intelligent when asked what I read.  6 hours later and the only question I will be able to answer is, 'What did you read about?' my response: 'The larynx'.  I honestly know a lot more than that, pinky promise, but I'm too afraid to speak up fearing I'll say something incorrectly or get something totally backwards.  Last night while studying I confused the epiglottis with the esophagus.  If anybody reading this is a CSD person you know that was a HUGE mistake!!! I guess I was in Jenn World and not paying attention anyways I went back and re-read the sentence and I was like oh my word I'm losing my mind!!!  This morning I went to my neurologist for my 6 month check-up.  He asked how my migraines had been and how my migraine medicine was working.  I told him the medicine was working great, except for the past month or so.  I then explained my migraines had moved from solely above my eyebrows to the back of my neck and right above my eyebrows.  He then inquired: "Have you been under a lot of stress lately?".  To this I replied, "Well I found out on April 26th that I got into grad school here and had to leave everything and move here...grad school started June 1st."  He was like oh yeah I'd say thats pretty stressful...well you're having tension headaches along with your migraines.  (AWESOME).  Basically he gave me muscle relaxers to take when I get "tension headaches" (everyday?), but I can't take them on school days (Monday-Thursday) until I learn how my body will react to them.  Sheesh!!!  So I'm not really sure how to handle tension headaches since Dr. Neurologist Man said tylenol, advil, etc. won't get rid of them and I can't take muscle relaxers on school days. My life has been taken over by Grad School and yay for me I start at Chili's in Jonesboro at the end of this week.  Hopefully I will learn to lean on God through all of this and not myself thereby getting rid of the tension headaches without taking medication.  Also if I learn to lean on God I'll survive the next 18 months because without Him there is no way I'll make it!  Ok now I have to get back to reading this textbook so I can finish and move onto the next one...

New Sea...

So my on again/off again bff since 4th grade got married last weekend and the thought of her now officially being a Mrs. is still throwing me for a loop.  First let me explain the on again/off again bff relationship status that we have.  We single handedly made each other's lives hell growing up then somehow managed to put them back together only to destroy them again the next week.  We fought over: guys, family, guys, church, guys, friends, guys, clothes, guys, school, guys, guys, guys!!! Even through it all I think if we were both completely honest with each other we needed one another to make it through the "rough years" of being a teenager.  So that being said within the past two weeks I have picked up my entire life in Searcy, AR and relocated to Jonesboro, AR.  That happened on a Wednesday afternoon and on into Thursday.  That Thursday evening began the wedding festivities with the soon to be "Mrs. Meeks'" classy lingerie/bachelorette party.  The next morning began quite early (7:30 am) as we decorated for the lovely wedding at Central Baptist here in Jonesboro. We finished the decorating, bridal luncheon, and rehearsal/rehearsal dinner somewhat early (9:30 pm) Friday evening and called it a day!  Saturday morning came WAY too quickly (9:30 am) as we arrived at Central to start preparing for the 2 o'clock wedding.  Needless to say through the stresses and emotions of the day everything fell into place and the wedding was gorgeous.  Lauren looked amazing as she walked down the isle next to her dad and there definitely wasn't a dry eye amongst her bridesmaids! It was a wonderful day that we'd be dreaming about for years and I was super excited to get to share it with my on again/off again bff!!

So all this leads me up to change and a new sea the title of my blog:  Basically Lauren's mother sat me down the night before the wedding and told me her opinion of why I got into ASU grad school.  In her opinion I couldn't find a fish in my sea so God brought me to another sea so I could find a fish.  Well thats fine if that happens, but thats not really what I'm here for.  However, the thought of being in a new sea has made me think quite a bit.  Whenever you begin something new, regardless of if its a new day, new job, new school, or whatever else you are being cast out into a new sea.  You get the option of being whomever you want to be.  You can go back to being the same ole person you were before and maybe you were a great person before, or you can make the change you always wanted to make, but were never quite able to make stuck back in your old sea.  Maybe you were so surrounded by old habits, friends, lifestyles that you just couldn't change, and God moved you to a new sea to make the change you needed to make so you could BECOME THE NEW FISH.  So here I sit about to start grad school in 2 days at a state school and I'm nervous.  I'm super nervous because my God isn't shared and discussed as much on this campus as He was back on Harding campus, but God brought me here because He thought I needed to be cast out into a new sea so I can be transformed into the NEW FISH He wants me to be.

Not ready...

I am 3 days from leaving Searcy and I am NOT READY!!! I have honestly been in the worst mood for the past two weeks because I don't even want to think about leaving this town! I know Wynne will always be "home" like the town where I was born and raised, but Searcy has become my home!!! After I made the decision several months ago to stay here for another year and work at Chili's I became very happy with that decision.  I was totally at peace and now my world has been flipped upside down.  Don't get me wrong I am so happy that God blessed me with being able to get into Grad school, but I don't want to leave my town!!! I am a person that typically likes change, but this is a BIG change and I am scared.  I don't know my way around Jonesboro that well, I don't know my way around ASU at all, I don't know people there...grrr!!! I honestly feel like the little 19 year old sitting in my bedroom floor packing for college for the first time.  I remember crying my eyes out telling my daddy that I didn't want to leave.  That I wasn't old enough to leave my mommy and daddy.  He looked at me with those eyes only Daddy's have and said yes you are and we're only going to be an hour or so away.  He was right.  The first night was horrible.  I was terribly sick when they drove away, but after the first couple days passed I survived and loved it! Now here I am again not wanting to go, but I know I'll survive.  It's just taking that first step to jump... then you can fly...That's what I have to keep telling myself.  This is my chance to fly!!

God Always Has A Plan...

So people always say, "God has a plan".  Sometimes we as humans get really discouraged and forget that God has a plan for us and we try to take things into our own hands.  I have tried hard for the past 4 months to rely on God, but I have taken things into my own hands.  I have doubted if I really wanted to be a Speech Therapist.  I have decided to just work at Chili's and live in Searcy for the next year.  I have decided to possibly work on going back to school to be a nurse.  Little did I know that MY God has a plan.  This morning I woke up to a phone call from Arkansas State University's Communication Science Disorder's Department Chair.  He called to offer me a spot in their graduate program starting June 1st!!!! I literally burst into tears and laughter.  I couldn't say yes and thank you fast enough!!! All day long I have thought about the plan that God had.  Back in November I turned down the chance to go to Africa this summer with Harding.  If I had been going there, I couldn't have said yes.  If I had gotten into ASU from the beginning instead of Harding I probably wouldn't have appreciated it as much because I wanted to go to Harding.  Also if I had gotten into graduate school from the beginning I wouldn't have appreciated it as much because I felt like it was what I deserved, not something God blessed me with.  Now I feel like it is one of the biggest blessings I have ever received.  Needless to say I have a lot of big changes coming up in the near future, but I am not afraid because God has a plan. JEREMIAH 29:11!!!

Life...

So my life has been a constant roller coaster of emotions.  I received the news the Friday before Harding's Spring Break that I did not get into their Graduate School for Speech Therapy.  Where does this leave me? I HAVE NO IDEA!!! I left the following Wednesday with 7 amazing people from my church back home in Wynne for the Bahamas.  We went to the island of Eleuthera to Rock Sound where our church supports a missionary named Lincoln Young.  Although this mission trip was like none other I had been on, I did learn a lot from it.  Lincoln is a man who has had a lot physically taken away from him, but when you sit down to have a conversation with him or pass him going down the street you would never know.  He always has this wonderful smile covering his face and always brightens your day with words of encouragement.  I have been watching Lincoln come to my church and since I was approximately 12 years old, but now that I am 22 I finally have a real relationship with him.  He taught me how to sincerely be happy in my happenings and how to always see the glass as half full.  Not only this, but he is a great example of what a servant of God should be.  After we all returned from the Bahamas it was time to makes a decision about my future.  Well here I sit two weeks later and have yet to make that BIG decision.  I had decided to pack up and move to Paragould...I just knew it was where I needed to be, but yesterday something changed.  I had this overwhelming feeling that I needed to stay put.  I just felt like if God wasn't really pushing me to go somewhere that maybe I needed to stay where I was until he made clear his next move for me.  That being said I began talking to Michelle (my baby sister) about living with me in Searcy again.  We started looking at rent houses today and I'm not sure where I'll go from here.  I enjoy the people I work with at Chili's in Searcy, although Chili's is not where I desire to work.  I want a job that can make a different in people's lives.  I do not see how contributing to the obesity of America is making a difference in people's lives, but it does pay the bills. So for now I feel like I am going to be still and know that God is in control.  As for a long term plan...I don't have one.  If you know me very well at all...I AM NOT GOOD WITH NOT HAVING A PLAN.  This is the biggest leap of faith I have EVER taken!!!  I am walking to the edge and jumping and with this jump I am trusting God to catch me.

Patiently waiting...sorta.

So the news broke around 3 pm today that the Grad school acceptance/rejection letters were sent out today!!! That being said I wrote my address down as my parents so my letter will be sent to Wynne.  Several of my friends found out that they were either accepted or rejected since they are still in school their letters were sent to their campus mail box.  I am still patiently or impatiently waiting.  I have cried and gotten close to throwing up over the past 11 hours as I think of what the next 24/48 hours holds.  I know God is in control of my future, but I am just so nervous.  I have worked the past 3 and a half years for a piece of paper that either accepts or rejects me to the next step.  Yes if I don't get accepted this year I can always re-apply, but what will I do for the next year until that time comes? I am trying so hard to be patient and give it to God.  I had thought, until today, that I was really improving in this whole "give it to God" thing.  Today, however, shows that I am just a mere human and I have a lot more to work on.  So what if I do get in?  I will be VERY happy and will continue to read my CSD books to prepare myself for grad school!!! What if I don't get in?  Well I have been contemplating this for several weeks now... I think I have decided that if I don't get in I will start working on the physical therapy pre-reqs and then apply to physical therapy school.  I don't have the passion for pt that I have for Speech, but I can't see myself sitting out an entire year.  My professors encouraged us to improve our application if we don't get in...somehow enhance your resume...huh?  I have no idea how I can possibly enhance my resume by working at Chili's.  I don't even know why I am worrying about all of this before I receive that precious/dreaded letter in the mail, but for some reason it is all keeping me from sleeping.

On an entirely different note... Today is Ash Wednesday.  Although I am not Catholic I like to give something up every year until Easter.  I think this is a very good ritual that the Catholics do and I enjoy practicing it.  I'm not exactly sure their stipulations/rules on it, but here are mine... I give up something that I desire on a daily/habitual basis and whenever I crave/desire it I turn to prayer instead of my personal desire.  This year since I am training for the half marathon I decided to give up sugars ex: chocolate, ice cream, and candy as well as carbs: rice, pasta, bread, and potatoes.  I am hoping to continue this "fast" even past Easter up until the race itself the last weekend in April.  I feel like this not only will help detox my body for the race, but it will enhance my prayer life which can always use a little enhancing.

Next on my brain is my mission trip to the Bahamas which is a week from today.  I'm not quite sure if it has hit me that I am actually getting to go.  I have dreamt of going on this mission trip since I was in High School and finally this year I am going!!! I am really excited about what its going to revel and what we are going to be able to teach the people down there. I am most excited about teaching VBS to the children in the schools! Oh fun times await!  Please pray that God goes ahead of us and softens the hearts of the people down there.  Also that he prepares our minds and hearts to say the words that they need to hear.

What is new?

Well once again it has been a while...so what have I been up to? Working!!! I have been working for two weeks straight with zero days off.  Yes this is really lame, but the money is nice.  I am starting to catch on to the way Chili's works.  I haven't really messed up an order in a while which is a positive thing.

I feel the desire to get away from Searcy.  I also have a strong desire to go shopping!!! I am leaving in 12 days to go on a Mission trip to the Bahamas with my church from Wynne.  I am really excited about it.  I have sat on the sidelines and watched a small group of 12 people go year after year on this trip and I am finally getting the chance to go!

From my understanding the decisions have been made about grad school, but the letters won't be sent out until mid-March.  I am really nervous, but I am working hard on giving it all to God.  I am working on a back up plan incase I do not get in anywhere.  Yes...that's a typical Jenn move to have a back up plan for everything...is that really giving anything to God if you have a back-up plan? Probably not...yikes.

Lauren's wedding is rapidly approaching.  I found an awesome lingerie website...lingeriediva.com. I honestly recommend it for anybody throwing a lingerie shower or attending a friend's lingerie shower.  It has awesome lingerie for reasonable prices.  I need ideas for a fun Bachelorette party without strippers or alcohol?  If anybody has any ideas please let me know.

I joined the Netflix world yesterday... I do believe it is the best thing that has happened to me this month. I know it's only the 5th but still! I have watched 6 movies already...which makes me sound like a loser, but I LOVE movies!!!

Anyways that is all that is going on in my life right now.  I am going to try to make cookies tomorrow and hopefully I'll upload pictures of my apple pie that I made not too long ago soon!  Chili's is taking over my life so Betty is being put on hold.

Lately...

So what have I been up to lately that has kept me away from blogging? Well... I went on a wonderful 7 day cruise to Costa Maya, Belize, Roatan, and Cozumel with my wonderful travel buddy/BFF Andrea.  We had the time of our lives and met some amazing people.  I would go into great detail about everything we did, but it would make this post entirely too long so I'll sum it up in a couple of sentences.  Neither one of us had been on a cruise before so we really did not know what to expect.  Everyone had told us it would be amazing so we had HIGH expectations.  Well the Norwegian Spirit out of New Orleans definitely lived up to those expectations.  Andrea and I spent our days laying out under the warm sun and our nights dancing with some wonderful people we met from all over the States.  In between laying out and dancing we sang karaoke, went to shows, dined at fabulous restaurants, and mingled with people (most of whom were at least twice our age).  That brings me to another point.  We were a little skeptical taking a cruise while most people our age were in school, but it was so much fun getting to know an older generation.  They definitely didn't dance the same way we were used to and most of the songs at karaoke I had never heard of, but it made it all a blast.  Anyways we got back a couple of weeks ago and ever since I have been back in Searcy town.  I spent all last week job hunting and as of this past Monday I am officially employed by Chili's!!! I don't start until Saturday, but still to say that I finally have a job is pretty exciting.  Sarah (roomie) and I started training for the Music City Half on Monday.  Yesterday was our first day of actual running and I surprised myself by being able to run 3 miles on the first day.  I do understand I am still 10.1 miles away from the finish line, but 3 is a start.  Today I introduced Sarah to Jonesboro, AR.  I think she was a little impressed that NEA (North East Arkansas) actually had a mall somewhere in it, as well as Target and Starbucks.  It was a fun day.  Now I am off to bed and getting excited about starting work soon.  Hopefully I'll update before too long and let you know how the new job is going!

BTW...I have not been able to cook lately at all.  Here is my excuse as pitiful as it may sound... I have a hard time cooking healthy foods.  I like to cook delicious meals that are not healthy at all, but while training for this half marathon I am not able to eat unhealthy foods.  Needless to say I am trying to find a healthy cookbook to cook from, but haven't had any luck yet.  That is why there have been no blogs about my cooking.  I did make cheesy chicken enchiladas last week before we started training.  They were simply divine! Sarah and I both loved them.  Anyways that's really the last time I cooked unless it was steaming vegetables, baking chicken breast, or some other boring healthy food. hehe.  So there is my excuse...Sorry.

Babysitting...

So I agreed to babysit three adorable angels so my second parents could go on a cruise.  I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I signed up for this job.  Let me start off by saying I still love these angelic children with everything I have, but I now know I am in no way prepared to have children of my own by myself.  Let me start at the beginning...yesterday.  I picked the children up from school and everything was going fine, then I suggested going to Wal-Mart.  The oldest child, age 10, said, "I can't go to Wal-Mart unless I'm drunk", after I picked myself off the floor I replied don't ever say that again and yes you can go to Wal-Mart.  He then replied, "I'm going to be bad".  I had no idea what to do so of course I bribed them with candy to make them behave.  The youngest, age 5, thought the oldest child was hilarious so for the next 10 minutes kept accusing me of being drunk.  PERFECT! Well we went to Wal-Mart and everything went well because they wanted candy. Oh how wonderful candy is.  Next it was time for everyone to take a bath.  Well the boys asked if they could shower together, innocent me thought this would cut down on time so I agreed.  Half way through shower time I hear screaming coming from the bathroom...I walk in and both of them are yelling..."He peed on me!!!" OH MY GOSH!!! Who does that?!?!?! Clearly I had an older brother...my sisters and I did not do that!!! Finally everyone was nestled all snug in their beds and I hear the oldest child screaming that the 5 year old had snuck his DSI (like a gameboy on crack) into his bed and was playing it under the covers. OMG just go to sleep!!! I finally collected all 3 DS/DSI and hid them in the living room with me.  I drifted off to sleep around 11ish.  At about 5 I was sleeping peacefully, when I decided to lay on my other side and what appeared...only a 4 foot 5 inch blonde headed little girl that made me say a not nice word and nearly pee my pants! She had a bad dream (sorry mom for all those nights I had bad dreams and probably scared you to DEATH!).  She asked if she could sleep with me, of course I said yes.  She woke me up again 5 minutes later to ask if she could hold my hand, again I responded with a yes.  5 minutes later she woke me again asking if she could sleep on the inside... I said yes.  5 minutes later she woke me asking if I'd turn on a light... 3 minutes later she asked if I'd turn on a different light because that one was too bright.  5 minutes later she woke me and asked if I'd go jiggle the toilet handle because it was running and she didn't like the sound. 5 minutes later she woke me to tell me about her scary dream because she still couldn't sleep.  5 minutes later she woke me up asking if she could hold my arm.  Finally around 6:10 she and I both fell into a deep sleep only to wake up at 7:15 for school.  Here's where the real FUN began...The 5 year old refused I mean REFUSED to get out of bed.  I threatened the DSI, spanking him, plus everything else I could think of and finally when he saw how serious I was he got dressed.  Then he came to the living room sat down and said...I'm not going to school and you can't make me! WHAT!!! I went to the kitchen to find a wooden spoon because that always got me as a kid, but of course I couldn't find one. After several minutes of convincing him to join the other two kids in the car we headed off to school.  The entire time he was telling me how he wasn't going to school because it was boring.  Well I get into the dreaded car riders line and we get up to the door and the oldest two hop out.  I look in the back and the 5 year old is sitting back there informing me that he isn't going anywhere... please note I am in my sweat pants, uggs, long sleeve t-shirt, messy bun, and NO MAKE UP.  I get out of the car to make him go to school and he scurries across the back seat and out the other side of the car leaving the door open.  The lady behind me hollers, "Don't ya love kids!! hahaha!" I think I gave her the most sarcastic smile ever! I was ready to scream! I headed home and found a wooden spoon asap preparing myself for when they returned.  This afternoon went smoothly until it was time for basketball practices.  The oldest two behaved and went to practice just fine, but my pride and joy the 5 year old disappeared half-way through practice.  I waited a few minutes knowing he'd show back up, well when he didn't I went looking for him.  I found him and his best friend in the women's restroom pooping together.  He was explaining to his best friend how his babysitter made him go to the women's restroom. WHAT!!! I didn't even know where he was.  He was lying to his little friend about me.  I was not happy at this point.  I gave him two options: he could come sit by me for the rest of practice or he could get his ds taken away for the rest of the night.  Oh I also lectured him on how Jesus doesn't like it when we tell lies and it doesn't make Jesus smile.  In the middle of this lecture I had to turn around and giggle to myself because I couldn't keep a straight face.  No matter how mad I get, he is just sooo cute it's hard to be serious with him.  Anyways he chose to sit beside me.  5 minutes later I told him that if he told his little friend that his babysitter had not made him go to the women's restroom then he could get up.  I gave him a minute to make up his mind and he remained silent. Needless to say he sat there for an hour and wouldn't talk to me.  By the time we got home from practices it was time for a quick supper, baths, and bed.  THANK GOD!! They didn't pee on each other tonight and I have all the 3 DS so there will be no playing in bed.  I made him promise to be sweet and get out of bed the first time I ask in the morning or I will use the wooden spoon.  Holy moly I am clueless about raising kids.  Please note I love these kids as if they were my own.  They mean the world to me and most of this stuff I think is hilarious.  I just thought I would share my last 24 hours with you guys.  Here is some advice: Kids are crazy and be prepared to punish them if you are going to babysit for more than 6 hours.